TSA Pervs Gone WILD!

I always opt out of the scanner and go for the grope. In my not-so-humble opinion, anyone who walks thru that scanner is not smart enough to parent. Hopefully, they don’t already have kids because, after a few trips, they won’t be able to parent. Small comfort. I can’t keep my mouth from hanging open while I watch parents send their kids through a machine that irradiates them and shows them naked to the pervs behind the curtain. Who’s the sicker party?

To date, I’ve been groped about 10 times and, really, nothing to write home about. The waistband check is completely annoying, but otherwise, I have no complaints. I’m not modest, so I guess that helps.

The past two times, however, the pat down was very aggressive. The first time, in Nashville’s BNA, the droness karate-chopped my vagina four times: once for each leg from the front, once for each leg from the back. I was so stunned, I didn’t say anything. Since this had never happened before, I attributed it to the sloppy young woman doing the grope. Previous pat downs have been explained thoroughly and done slowly and carefully, never touching me there. This pat-down was invasive and it hurt.

Last night, at Ft. Lauderdale Int’l, was the second time. When I was directed toward the scanner, I told the TSA worker bee that I opt out. He said, “You know you will have to submit to a pat-down?”

Me: “Yes, as long as no one touches my vagina.”

Male TSA perv, grinning disgustingly: “Well, I don’t know about that. I only do guys.”

So… he doesn’t know women have vaginas?

They bring over a young woman, quite fat. This is important because she has nice fat hands as well. Something you want to consider when they are doing a pat down. We go to the pat down area and I tell her that I don’t want her to touch my vagina. She says, “I have to go up till I meet resistance.”

Me: “Don’t touch my vagina. I’ve been patted down many times and no one has ever touched my vagina. Last time the girl was quite careless and I don’t want to go through that again.”

The young droness adopts an attitude. She will not look at me. She does not explain the pat-down which I know is required. She does hair, back, then butt using back of hands… then starts with leg one. Starts up the leg, not slowly but not fast either, until, BAM, she gets to the top of my thigh and swiftly karate chops my vagina. WTF?

I stepped back and yelled at her, “HEY! You just karate chopped my vagina. [Yeah, I gotta way with words, don't I?] Don’t touch me there!”

She will not look at me, but looks with exasperation at her cohort, the male TSA worker who she has called over to watch since I’m so clearly hostile. He is still grinning like the consummate professional he is. We have a little stand off. I show her where resistance is: I spread my legs wide, take my hand and touch the top of my leg where the pelvis is and — SURPRISE –  it’s NOT the middle of my hoo-hoo! Whaddya know?

We assume positions and she does the exact same thing other leg. I yell and step back. She’s exasperated, gritting her teeth, will not look at me. That’s when I notice her hands and suggest perhaps her hands are too big to pat me down. They ignore that.

At this point, I’m thinking maybe they don’t like me. Nah… how could that be? They hardly know me.

BTW, I’m wearing a Chico’s traveler outfit which means you can see all my cellulite. Like, where am I going to hide bomb-making materials?

We assume positions. She starts on the front. I notice the boob grope is also much more aggressive: she’s touching all the boob except the nipple. This is a new TSA.

She gets to the front of one leg and exact same scenario. My vagina is starting to burn, she’s hit it so hard three times now (just like at BNA). I yell, jump aside, show her where resistance is AGAIN. But, alas, she’s too dumbed-down to get the distinction. Last leg, same thing. I am FURIOUS and speaking quite loudly. She wants to repeat that last leg because she has been told to do the movement all in one sweep or some such nonsense. I’m adamant that is not going to happen again. The guy, who is a supervisor (knowing anatomy is apparently not a requirement), says, “No, just finish up.” Little tiny victory. I’ll take it.

We finish, I gather my stuff and proceed to the gate. I do my best to let it go because, damn it, I’m not going let them assault me, then rent space in my head to boot.

I’m not going to stop flying. I’m not going to let them intimidate me into giving up travel which I enjoy. Like, I’m going to allow the TSA to steal anything from me? I will continue to go for the grope — which I know they dislike doing — and I will continue to talk back. So far, that is still legal. I’m going to add in a little casual conversation about how TSA workers who have worn dosimeters at work have quit after the very first day. There’s quite a victory. Dosimeters are on sale at ebay, too.

Meanwhile, the sheeple continue to file into the radiation machine because it is easier than standing up for themselves and their children. And because they’ve chosen to believe the outright lies the TSA has told them about scanner safety.

I am stunned by this ignorance, by this trust despite all evidence, a testament to my continued naivetĂ©. I’m disgusted I’m the only one I EVER see going for the grope.

If people really get the government they allow, we are in serious trouble.

34 comments to TSA Pervs Gone WILD!

  • robin

    I’m so sorry you had such treatment but good for you for talking back – I’m not sure I’m so bold. We’ve not flown since all this nonsense was implemented but when we do we’ll be going for the grope also. gee, can’t wait. :(
    Jer says hello!

  • Talking back wasn’t really a choice, lol. My mouth flew open and the words flew out… just you wait, sistah!!! Just in case, have a few choice sentences ready. If you can smile while you say them, all the better. I’m working on it.

  • kytyedye

    When I fly, if there is carpet in the line for security, I like to shuffle my feet across it and give the guy who takes my ID a bit of a shock. Small victories…hehehe

  • Steve

    Next time you should go get some kinky s&m underwear with some metal studs. You will only get karate chopped once.

  • continue to reject this bs

    I say continue to reject this bull sh . Because the terrorist have won as long as we accept it.
    From now on turn on a camera. I wear a pair of sunglasses that record video
    If they were to touch me in my V I would be a lot more upset.

    Resist reject and rebel.

    • I was thinking that, next time it happens on the first leg, I will insist that someone video tape (using my camera) the pat down. Where did you get those glasses?

  • Dave in Wasilla

    Thanks for speaking up. The trouble with the type of radiation used in the porno scanners is that it is relatively non-penetrating. This means that most or all of energy is dissipated in harmful ionization of the skin. Natural background radiation is typically dissipated in the entire body mass, with much of the energy passing through the body. Comparing the same energy levels of radiation that is fully absorbed by a single organ (the skin) with radiation that is absorbed throughout the body mass (or continues on) is simply bad science, but this apples vs oranges is done to assure people that it is no big deal.

    • I’m no scientist but I’ve read nothing that makes me feel any better about the scanners. Au contraire.

      Yeah, at least regular is “thinned out” radiation… I made the boys swear they would opt out. Ryan says that, if anyone touches his junk, he’s going to cry out, “NO, daddy, NO!” in a sweet little high voice. That gets a giggle out of us…

  • Hellkell

    Save up a big ole fart for the lady next time you get groped down there.

  • CF

    those who continue to fly are asking for it & bring it upon themselves so no sympathy here.BOYCOTT/STOP FLYING
    Such gluttons for punishment.Screw TSA DONT TREAD ON ME

    • I used to think this but I don’t anymore. Possibly a justification for my continuing to fly for the money. Trust me, if I didn’t need to, I wouldn’t.

      If we all stop flying, they win. We need to fly, to opt out and to be vocal in our complaints: to the airlines, to our reps and especially to the gropers.

  • BJ

    I hope at some point people will say “NO” when tsa touches their private parts. Someone who will say “its not worth this, I will not fly”! And then leave.

  • CelticWhisper

    BJ – They thought of that already. They’ll threaten travelers with an $11,000 fine for “failure to complete the screening process.” They claim that once you start you have to finish otherwise it’d be too easy for the big bad scary terrorist boogeyman to feel out security by repeatedly making test runs at it. Never mind that a terrorist wanting to cause havoc would just blow up the security line.

    The best way to combat this is to demand answers from your elected officials. State and local senators and representatives, your governor, anyone you can get ahold of. Make sure they know this is a major issue and one that can win or lose them lots of votes – I recall hearing that the prevailing wisdom in Congress is that for every 1 constituent who writes about an issue, there are 10,000 more who feel the same way and will vote based on it but just didn’t write for whatever reason. As the saying goes, “If your congresspeople don’t know you by name, you’re not trying hard enough.”

    Also, pay a visit to travelunderground.org It’s an up-and-coming forum community for discussing TSA abuses and how to prepare for, avoid, and fight back against them.

    • The $11,000 fine didn’t fly, I don’t think, so they stopped that nonsense. Because people were so vocal and would not be intimidated. But horrible that they would pull such a stunt!!!

      I agree: we need to keep being vocal. I’m going to send this in a letter to my reps: Rand, my buddy Mitch and all my local reps. Heck, maybe I’ll hand deliver the letter to Frankfort. Only 30 minutes away.

  • [...] Lifetime TSA is getting more aggressive in their pat-downs. TSA Pervs Gone WILD! | Fifty To Life [...]

  • Anonymous

    you are too stupid to live in this world, what would you say if TSA stops screening so carefully and a bad guy with a couple of pieces of explosive passes through and takes down a plane with one of your siblings in it????

    • Lisa

      Dear Anonymous, The security tactics only chase the last terrorist (after they are long gone). We have to have 3 oz. bottles, terrorists don’t bring liquid anymore, take off our shoes, terrorists don’t put stuff in their shoes anymore, we have to be scanned, terrorists don’t hide stuff on their body anymore. So we go through all of this while they find a totally new way. We need to profile like they do in other countries. US TSA security is not a fool proof plan against terrorism.

      Sally, the people who abused you are not doing their job correctly. There is no need for that. I am sorry you had to go through that.
      Anonymous, educate yourself.

  • OH, big brave anonymous called me a name and tried to scare me into compliance by bringing up The Children. Yawn.

  • Don’t worry, they will always have a special plane for those of you willing to crawl on your hands and knees naked to reduce your risk of having something happen that is less likely than being stung to death by insects. You are much more likely to be shot by your neighborhood cop than to be killed by a terrorist. Think!!!!!

  • BJ

    From FREEDOM comes everything else! When you give up your FREEDOM for safety you lose everything else!
    I prefer my Freedom even if I die!
    I’d rather die on my feet than live on my knees!

  • [...] afterward. This is not security screening, this is blatant criminal assault. TSA Pervs Gone WILD! http://www.fiftytolife.com/2011/tsa-pervs-gone-wild/ Luckutt: TSA pat-down the epitome of creepy http://www.denverpost.com/recommended/ci_18664551 [...]

  • Fisher1949

    There have been two other incidents this week where other women reported the same treatment. Apparently TSA is stepping up its efforts to abuse women who refuse the scanners. In all of these cases the women reported being violently chopped in the vagina and to the point of being left sore afterward. This is not security screening, this is blatant criminal assault.
    Luckutt: TSA pat-down the epitome of creepy

    Springs woman says TSA agent groped her vagina during pat-down

    Any passenger so injured should immediately report the incident in writing to the following parties. Do not file a complaint directly with TSA or the OIG will not respond. Send a copy of the OIG complaint to TSA.
    The Airline you traveled on, in writing and by phone
    Your Congressman, by phone, email and letter. Do all three https://writerep.house.gov/writerep/welcome.shtml
    Both of your US senators, by phone, email and letter.
    Oversight Committee website at http://www.oversight.house.gov.
    Federal Security Director Hotline – 877 266 2837
    DHS OIG DHSOIGHOTLINE@dhs.gov. 1-800-323-8603
    Airport Federal Security Director http://flyerguide.com/wiki/index.php/Airport_List
    The Loacal FBI Field Office Lodge a Color of Law complaint http://www.fbi.gov/contact-us/field

    The American traveler is being punished for the failure of the FBI and CIA to share information and stop the 9/11 attacks. It is both stunning and sickening that so many people are willing to allow a government agency to sexually assault their children a just so they can fly somewhere. Under Pistole’s policies, TSA screeners have been turned into de facto child molesters and sexual assailants. They have admitted that the pat downs involve direct contact with passenger’s penises, testicles, breasts and vaginas which constitutes sexual assault. By their own calculations, TSA gropes over 60,000 passengers every month! This week Denver TSA Area Pat Ahlstrom said of the scans “They were graphic, no doubt about it. Now, they don’t have to be concerned that a private image will be viewed by a TSA officer”.

    Since December 2010 there have been 42 screeners arrested for crimes ranging from rape and child pornography to drug trafficking and theft from bags. In the same period, there have been 40 security breaches or failures, dozens of lawsuits and thousands of groping and abuse complaints. Most recently the pat down of a six year old girl and removal of a dying woman’s diaper made headlines. There is clearly a problem when an agency this size has this level of job-related criminal activity and passenger abuse.

    TSA has needlessly molested and traumatized thousands of children since November and many of these abuses have been caught on video making national news. This agency is violating passenger rights on a daily basis, committing crimes and endangering airline security with their incompetence. Nothing less than the complete elimination of this agency is acceptable. If there is any justice left in this country those responsible for this criminal malfeasance, particularly Pistole, will be prosecuted by the next Administration.


  • yautjalady


    What they did to you was assault and battery.
    I hope you got the name of the screener.
    Wonder if screener could be brought up on charges personally?
    I don’t think their super secret manual calls for karate chopping ladies’ privates!

    If it had been me, I am sorry to say that on the second chop I would have unloaded a Texas size can of whoop-@$$ on them… I would not have had as much patience as you…

    Next time see if you can have a companion with you that can video those @#$% without them knowing it.

    Needless to say, I don’t fly anymore.


  • [...] “TSA Pervs Gone Wild” Posted on September 5, 2011 by TSA Watchdog From the blog, “Fifty to Life.” http://www.fiftytolife.com/2011/tsa-pervs-gone-wild/ [...]

  • Travis

    You know, as I sit over in Afghanistan I wonder if people have anything else to really complain about other than people trying, perhaps without compassion, to keep them safe. TSA is here because Americans want to feel safe, and most are willing to sacrifice some of their freedoms to do it. Some are less than pefect, and do stupid things, but the majority are professionals and silently put up with people who are filled with hate intead of understanding. To be honest, most Americans have no idea how many people actually want to kill them, and these people will go to great lenghts to accomplish this.

    As for TSA, many have this preconcieved notion of what to expect and nothing can deter them from that. It’s mentioned above that the scanners are non-invasive, but people refuse to listen to something scientifically proven, instead continuing to base their opinions off of unproven tales.

    I think people go there wanting and expecting conflict. What would happen if you just kept quiet and let them do their job? Instead you make a personal attack, and smart ass statement, and you invoke some type of conflict. You want them to do something to you so you can run home and blog about it and complain to your friends. You want to dramatize things like instead of just saying a woman had her diaper checked you all of sudden invent that she was dying (she wasn’t, unless you count in that all of us are dying the minute we are born). You want to have something to complain about, instead of just accepting that they have a job to do and whether you like it or not, you’re safer because of them.

    So I’ll stay over where I am, fighting directly, while everyone there continues to help terrorist win indirectly. Someone on the other side was smart enough to realize war isn’t all physical, and that if you make a country implode on itself, you can win that way. So keep fighting America instead of helping it if it makes you feel better. I realize the government does some stupid things, but if I wanted to change that I’d do something constructive instead of sitting behind a computer screen and complaining about it.

  • You are over there (if you actually are over there) murdering mostly innocents for oil. If you think otherwise, you are freaking delusional. As waaaay smarter people than me have observed, “Sacrificing personal liberty for safety is insanity.” Or words to that effect.

    The truth is we are far more likely to drown in a bucket in our backyards than be killed by a terrorist. I’m weighing risk/reward. I’ll take no TSA and my chances, which I would be allowed to do in a free country.

    You, on the other hand, are far more likely to be killed by friendly fire than by a terrorist. But you knew that, right?

    • Travis

      It’s funny you say, if you are actually over there, because that leads me to believe you’re inherently afraid to believe what people say. You’ll pick and chose what you want to hear to the applause of your followers and in turn you will sleep better at night. I suppose this gives me every right to question whether you’re really an American? I take people for their word, I would ask you do the same.

      On your topics, sacrificing personal liberty for safety is what men who have never left the safety of their own back yard say. They would be the last to take arms if American was directly attacked and the first to back track and look for protection from TSA and the military if that were to happen. And I’m not some gung ho militant want to be who loves a good battle. I’m a college educated guy with very modest views and someone who loves the very thought of America. I’m the type of guy who wouldn’t have needed to be drafted in previous wars because I would have enlisted. America is greater than my agenda. Someone who constantly fights the system, feeling their needs are greater than the needs of the whole is not what I am.

      And I’m pretty sure friendly fire is not my biggest threat over here. I’m pretty sure it’s the guys with AK-47′s who like to launch mortars at us while we sleep. I’m all for a fair debate with actual statistics, but don’t make stuff up just for dramatic effect.

      Oh yeah, you realize there is no oil in Afghanistan for us right? I always laugh when people use the oil debate for some place that isn’t Iraq. And to call me a murderer is pretty laughable as well. Most civilian casualties over here are from suicide bombers. People who are willing to kill their own citizens to prove their point. And me delusional? No chance at all. Don’t make assumptions about my intelligence level and I won’t make any about yours.

      I’m not writing to get anyone here to change their mind, I’m just writing to try and get people to develop more educated opinions as opposed to just random thoughts. When you write your senator, and I’m not saying some of you don’t do this, but when you write them, list facts in addition to your opinion. Don’t just go off on a tangent and tell them you hate everything and will keep fighting it. When you do this I guarantee they just take you for an uneducated zealot and they will toss your letter away. I want everyone to have the right to speak up if they don’t agree with something, since we are a democracy, I just wish people would do it with a bit of common sense.

  • BJ

    Sally, I am in agreement with you!

  • You are clearing the way for the oil pipeline. Read a little.

    So most of the civilian casualties are suicide bombers? Over a million? I don’t think so but I guess you know, seeing as how you are over there seeing it all first hand. Speaking of which you have an awful lot of time on your hands for someone who is busy fighting the tally ban and cleaning his AK47. Not to mention, you seem to have a dearth of real hard facts.

    And that sacrificing safety for liberty line was said by a Founding Father. I’m going to make the leap that you know what they are. Don’t respond. I won’t print it. Troll someone else’s blog.

    • Travis

      Not trolling, trying to get involved in some actual intellectual debate. Guess this site is only for people with one sided opinions who aren’t open to discussion or hearing anyone else’s opinion unless it mirrors their own. I’ll take you not being open to that as a sign that you’re one of them. If you’re strong in your convictions debating with me will only strenghten them, so you shouldn’t be afraid.

      And since I do server maintenance, yes, I do have a lot of time on my hands to be on a computer. I also have time off. We’re volunteers not slaves. Oh about the founding fathers, who I know well through individual reading and my education, that quote was to convince future Americans that being ruled by England wasn’t worth it. But I don’t know the founding fathers, since I’m just some dumb guy with a gun.

  • Travis, thank you for your service. I disagree with Sally’s assertions regarding them. BUT, I think you must be very young to not understand the problem with the gropers. Several of my family members have been in the sandbox, both as officers and enlisted men. Because they have fought for the ideals of their country, not a single one of them will subject themselves to this intrusion and erosion of liberty. It is not a small thing.

    Would you sign up for a job that required you to stick your hand in a toddler’s diaper and feel around (my niece, and I was there)? The “it’s just their job” doesn’t fly. How about groping a stacked and beautiful 20-year old and telling her rudely that she should have gone through the scanner (my daughter). Maybe copping an attitude and calling for security as if your life depended upon it because a 110-pound woman dared to ask a reasonable, if irritated, question (my sister)? TSA isn’t saving anyone (do you have an example to share? nope) — if they were profiling and doing searches of likely terrorists, that would be a completely different animal. A 3 year old or 85 year old is as close to a zero chance as possible.

    You’re military — you know that statistically terrorists are male, 25-50, 5’7″-5’10″, 165-185 lbs, brown eyes, black hair (source CSIS, ERRI). Why grope the vagina, breasts, testes, or penis of someone who fits maybe one or two of those statistics, and has no other cause for alarm? BECAUSE THEY CAN.

    Instead, we should be relying on highly trained, highly skilled, largely ex-military agents who are given the freedom to use their skills and discretion to detain and question. In my experience, TSA agents are those people who could not get jobs in the private sector, not people I would trust with the security of my dog, and certainly not of my country.

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